Complaint is a part of life that we all accept as normal. But it can also become a silent killer and set a hostile tone in your home if it isn’t contained. I recommend that when couples find themselves complaining too much (read my spouse complains too much) that they sit down together and write two lists. The first list is “Complaints We Can Fix”. These are complaints that simply don’t get appropriate attention such as household chores, house training pets, or scheduling budget meetings, but are completely doable. Do them and cross them off.
The second list is “Complaints We Cannot Yet Fix”. These are complaints that are more complicated or are fixed to time or expense. For example, if you have a long commute to work because housing is cheaper further out from the city, don't complain about your commute. It won’t change unless you move. Or don’t complain about your spouse’s spending habits if you aren’t willing to make and live by an agreed upon budget yourself. Complaint can slowly and subtlety rob a great marriage. You will find if you complete the complaints you can fix and refuse to complain about the things you can yet change, you will restore peace in your home.