Marriage Dilemma: Criticism or Insult?
If you ask Siri the definition of criticism you will get, “Disapproval expressed by pointing out faults or short comings”. If you ask the definition of insult you will get: “A rude expression intended to offend or hurt”. The difference between the two is intent. Here’s my question for you: when your spouse offers criticism, do you process it emotionally as an insult? In my practice, I see frequently. This is quite a blow to marriage because the person you need most in life to offer you criticism is your spouse. No one knows you better or loves you more. If you can’t receive criticism from your spouse that is intended for your good, you will cycle and recycle the same arguments with one another. Here’s a good cue to differentiate them. If you aren’t being called a name or if biting sarcasm isn’t being used, it’s probably criticism. And if it’s criticism, listen to what your spouse is saying and make the requested change. Do this and your marriage will get considerably better.