Despite the common occurrence of divorce in the United States, it is still very difficult and painful for adults and kids to navigate through. And while people can almost always recall when their parents sat them down as kids to share the bad news, it is life after divorce (italicize) where the greatest impact takes place for everyone involved. One of the most common mistakes parents make is something I call “divorce compensation”. It works like this in a parent’s head: “I’m heartbroken you won’t grow up in a home where all of us live together. I wanted that so much for you. And I don’t know how to minimize that blow exactly, so I’m going to spoil you or let you act disrespectful toward me. It’s probably a normal reaction for you to be angry and hurt. I probably deserve it after all I’ve put you through”. While there’s no doubt divorce has lasting effects on kids, what they need most is the stability of the same parent they always had. Don’t give them special treatment. If you do, their behavior and attitude will become intolerable and you will have a very difficult time retaining order in your home. If you are in charge of your home life, that’s the best compensation you can provide them.