You Change First

You Change First

happy family

I once had a therapy supervisor who said, “No one wants change except a baby with a soiled diaper”. It’s true. In over 20 years of helping couples, I rarely see anyone volunteer to “go first”. We all want the benefits of change as long as our spouses do the work. Unfair. Unrealistic. Early in therapy, there’s often some jockeying over who’s the better spouse. Later in treatment people are more willing to change, but only if “we both change” or “if he/she goes first”. Let me share a secret with you…both of you don’t need to change at the same time. In fact, most of the time someone does go first eventually- know who? The person with the greatest desire for it- the person who calms his/her own anxiety and confronts himself/herself. The person who finally listens to his/her spouse and concludes, “Maybe my spouse isn’t crazy. Maybe my spouse is right about me on some things”. Sound unfair? John Gottman, the leading psychologist in marital research says this: Men need to find at least a part of a wife’s concern or complain as reasonable, validate it, and change. Women need to couch complaints in a gentle, soothing, or humorous way. So there it is. If you want change in your marriage, you change first.

OFFICE HOURS
Monday11am - 7pm
Tuesday11am - 7pm
Wednesday8am - 5pm
Thursday8am - 3pm
Friday8am - 3pm
SaturdayClosed
SundayClosed

1000 Texan Trail #221
Grapevine, TX 76051

What Our Patients Say

Shawn is professional and deeply cares for the individuals he counsels. I refer clients to Shawn and have been for years and have received positive feedback from the individuals/couples that I have sent his way. He is a man of integrity. There is one issue that I must add before signing off and that is I miss working in the same location with him.
Margaret L. Reddington

I have known Shawn Boggs for 20 years and can attest to his outstanding character and trustworthiness. He is a skilled and compassionate therapist and I have relied on in expertise over the years. I recommend Shawn enthusiastically and without reservation.
Heather L. Hodges

I have known Shawn for four years. He is a trustworthy, compassionate, and giving individual. Shawn has been an inspiration to me personally and professionally. His knowledge and experience in dealing with marriage and family conflicts puts him high above other counselors in his field. I highly recommend Shawn as a therapist
Kimberlee Tucker

Counseling Grapevine TX Shawn Boggs Counseling PLLC Logo

Shawn Boggs Counseling PLLC
1000 Texan Trail #221
Grapevine, TX 76051
(817) 328-6139

OFFICE HOURS
Monday11am - 7pm
Tuesday11am - 7pm
Wednesday8am - 5pm
Thursday8am - 3pm
Friday8am - 3pm
SaturdayClosed
SundayClosed